Listen All Of Y’all It’s A Sabotage
Okay, so one of the things that have been consuming my thoughts and a great deal of my time lately, is, strangely enough, exercise.
Talk to me a year ago and you’d be surprised too.
Since February, I’ve lost about 15 pounds, but I’ve just started exercising in earnest for the past month or so. I can’t go a day without doing it, and I’ve started to actually enjoy it. I enjoy the energy it gives me, the guilt it alleviates, the feeling like I’m really accomplishing something good and getting my life on the right track.
And maybe I would be, if I wasn’t sort of sabotaging myself. What I mean is, in order to lose weight and be healthy (which, despite the girl mantra, is more important to me than the former) one has to do that proverbial thing and combine exercise with…dieting. And I have absolutely no food willpower at all.
Now some days are better than others, but at least once a day I slip and eat something bad for me. Yesterday, it was this pasta thing (I couldn’t eat another grilled chicken sandwich. I just couldn’t) and the day before, it was a blissful pagan consumption of Chick-fil-a. Why do I do this to myself? I know that it makes most of the hard work I do worthless when I start eating that crap. But I do it anyway and then I want to punch myself.
Well maybe not that extreme, but I do feel really bad. But obviously not bad enough to quit. Or to try different, healthy foods. I eat so badly because my menu of healthy things is so small and my menu of favorite unhealthy foods is War-and-Peace-Like in it’s scale.
I guess, like with exercise, you’ve got to come to a point on your own where being healthy is more important than eating delicious food. I’ve made a lot of concessions, but I guess I’m not quite there yet.
I know I should eat a salad for lunch, but I really want a big juicy cheeseburger. And fries. With ranch dressing.
le sigh.
